I have a 13 year old Dalmatian Cross breed dog. I adopted her when she was a lil squirming ball of black fur with dalmatian chest and socks. She was the cutest thing. I named her Spooky. She looked like a lil cute halloween costume. I instantly loved her to bits, and when my brother and I drove her back to our home, she was squirming all over, trying to nibble my fingers, my nose, my ears... I never forgot that moment.
I also never forgot how we bonded closer when I took her for obedience classes. Boy, did she make me proud. She would obey my instructions, while looking at me lovingly. She never let me down. Even when I got married, moved out of my parents' home, had children of my own. She was with me all the way. She let my 2 young daughters pet (whack her head in their enthusiasm) her, pull her tail, scratch her belly, only retaliating with slimy licks now and then.
Did I sometimes forget her even while in her presence? Of course I did. It was inevitable. We are selfish creatures, and our own needs and wants came first. My daughters came first. But I never really forgot her. What I did was take her for granted. My darling Spooky never minded. She was always there for us, and she treasured every bit of attention and love we gave her.
At 10 years old, you could see that Spooky was no longer young but a grand old dame of a dog. She had arthritic pains of the hips, and couldn't get up as boisterously as she did before. What she lacked in grace, she made up for in determination. She pushed herself up slowly but surely and gave it her all. She became blind in one eye due to cataract, and we quickly tried to save her vision by regularly dropping cataract eye drops in her other remaining eye. We fed her glucasamine supplements to help her joints. She had problems climbing up stairs and we would half support her up the stairs in her walks.
Spooky never really gave us much problems. She was that much of a darling. I can honestly say she made an ideal pet. She's cute. She's intelligent. She's an excellent guard dog. She's quite scary and imposing (although she was a real marshmallow inside). She scares strangers silly with her loud barks. She's our doorbell (it works out well as our doorbell's always spoilt), alerting us to visitors with her barks. The only complaint I might have was her constant barking at her nemesis, the postman.
At 13 years old just 1 week back, out of the blue, Spook just couldn't stand. She was shivering in the rain, splayed out on the floor and couldn't get herself into shelter. We carried her to her spot, dried her with towels, rushed her to the vet. Sadly, she can't get better. She will never stand nor walk again. She probably has cancer of the liver and spleen from an ultrasound the clinic did on her. After 4 days at the animal hospital, we brought her back home. While she is happy to be back, she still doesn't really want to eat and drinks only a bit. I bet she dreams of getting up, rushing to the door to bark at the strangers. I never thought that I would be happier when I heard her barking at the postman.
The vet told me - A dog lives for food, play and sleep. When she can't do these, then what doe she live for? If that wasn't a big hint to me... If I were her, I would want to go to heaven. But am I right to make that decision for her? Is that my decision to make? Should I make that decision for her? Is euthanasia the way in this situation? I am struggling... I don't want to be one to make the final decision. I don't want to, but I might not have a choice...
What do I do now? How long do I drag in my escapism?
